Saturday, February 27, 2010

jeremy camp concert.






This past weekend our dear dear friends Katie & Greg blessed me and Helene with free tickets to see Jeremy Camp. We had the honor of hanging out with them and the Camp family, experiencing their hearts for God and listening in on their worship concert.

What a BLESSING it was.. me and Helene could not believe it... we are still overwhelmed with blessings! Katie and Greg are such dear ones to us... their hearts for the Lord and encouragement mean more to us than words can say. SO thankful! :) We just wish we had gotten pictures of them too!!! :( At least I have the one of me and Katie... :)

"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High. . ." Psalm 92:1

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

life.



This past month God opened a door for me to be a volunteer at Pregnancy Resource Center. It's such a blessing to be able to be apart of a ministry that is so devoted to LIFE and God's truth. Since I was in junior high I had always had a desire and a heart for children... especially pro-life organizations. It was so neat growing up in the church, seeing women come from different Crisis Pregnancy Centers and speaking on their ministries and how many lives they have saved through God's grace... it touched me in a real unique way. Little did I know, God had plans for me too :) Lately, my heart has been for teen girls, and always has been for children. God stirred that up within me because only a few weeks after I had really thought about that, He opened up a door at the resource center down here by my school. It was such a neat thing to be able to sit in church and have those girls come up and share their experiences working at the center, and I knew God had called them there for me to have the opportunity to volunteer as well. So neat!

Our mission is to educate young women about their options but to share the good news of Christ. We not only want to love them unconditionally and be there for them every step of the way, but to make sure they know the love that God has for them as well. Without His love in our lives... what do we have to live for? This is SUCH an impacting ministry and last year they had saved 25 babies' lives. Isn't that awesome? My prayer throughout this journey is that God would give me the words to speak, thoughts to think, and correct actions to take when working with these young girls. But most of all, that the Lord would make me emotionally ready for all He has me to be doing. This isn't only a rewarding ministry but a heartbreaking one as well. Many of the girls come in seeking an abortion and desiring that... we never tell them NOT to get one, but our hearts grieve as we know many who come in after abortions and are suffering with the hurt. It's a hard place to be...but the blessing the Lord has given me is to be able to walk hand in hand with these young women and encourage them, pray for them, and share Christ with them. What could be better?

What a blessing it is :)

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." - Psalm 127:3


"For You formed my inward parts, You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are Your works, that my soul knows very well." - Psalm 139:13-14

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

there's a purpose for every season under heaven.

God has revealed so much to me this past weekend. Incredible. Everyone says when one thing doesn't work out, there's a specific reason for it... my is that true. God has HIS plans and they won't fail. We think we know what we want but we disregard what God is trying to do in our lives...we like to lead, don't we? Sometimes it's hard to just sit back and trust that God has it all under control.

Years ago I would have never thought to be in ministry or to be in worship. I probably would have laughed at the idea, actually. My heart was elsewhere. Relationships, friends, vanity. My heart wasn't towards God's... and my desire wasn't for His work. I was too wrapped up in the relationships I was in at those times, always filling the void with guys instead of the love of Christ. Coming out of those years of not being satisfied I was at my wits end. I had continuously fallen into sin, and then getting back up only to discover I was going to fall again. This was a cycle in my life and I came to the end... depression, heart brokenness, anger, hurt and I never thought God could restore. But He did. He is SO faithful. Up until a year and a half ago, I had continuously filled my heart with things of this world, not caring what God had planned for me. College changed me. God began to show Himself strong to me... and I began falling more in love with Him. My heart and passion grew for people, Christ, worship, but most of all...ministry. He had called me to a higher calling than what I had for myself. He called me to worship and to bring people to Him. He put a passion and desire in my heart for women and girls. It's been a blessing to see Him blossom these desires and to grow me in my faith!

So I sit back and think... no WONDER those past relationships didn't work out. God had a different purpose than what I had for myself back then. Being in those relationships... I would have never thought of doing worship or being in a ministry God had called me to. But now.... I wouldn't dream of doing anything else. He just recently revealed it to me.... "The reason I didn't allow those relationships to work out was because you would have never desired what I have for you.... you would be held back... unwilling and unable to fulfill the calling I have for your life." Man... is He good or what?!

I would never want to be held back from what the Lord is calling me to... especially if that means giving up ALL I have for His purpose. I would drop anything and everything in an instant, just to make sure I am abiding in His love, and His purpose for me :) God is such a beautiful God. The only One who is truth :) I am so entirely in love with Him, and loving walking side by side Him every single minute of every day!!!

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

unknown.


These past few months have been tests, and growing experiences that the Lord has tried to show me. Through the struggles with school and circumstances, God has continually proven things to me that I didn't notice before. My fear of failing classes got me so anxiety stricken that I contemplated dropping my major...but God had other plans. I thought, "Oh but Lord, if i could just switch to THIS major, things would be ok, and I could work in a Crisis Pregnancy center, or be helping people...or get a degree in Child Development!" I was so sure of myself. But God said, "No... persevere. Yes you've failed before... do you not trust Me? Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage.... I know your desires... trust that I will fulfill them." Three days later an opportunity for a position at the Crisis Pregnancy Center opened just for me. Coincidence? I think not... so God. And school? I had a peace about my classes. A joy, and a trust in the Lord that was renewed, refreshed and growing each and every day. Is our God awesome or what? I still don't know where the Lord is leading me after school. I know what I desire to be doing. My heart has been so burdened for people. I just wanna reach out to people for Christ. I want to LOVE people like Christ loved me. I want to bring people to know Him... because there is no greater joy. I truly believe God has called me to this. Is it easy? No way. There are issues... but God continually shows His love through these situations. He uses me in ways I never thought possible. He has chosen me to lead worship at a Pastors Conference.... why? I have no idea. I'm so unworthy... yet I guess it's true that He chooses the FOOLISH things of the world to put to shame the wise... haha. And YES I am mighty foolish... but isn't God so awesome? I think so.

My past has made me believe that I am the most impure being on the face of the earth. I know that isn't God speaking....it's satan. I used to feel ashamed, unworthy, useless and hopeless of ever becoming a pure and holy person in the face of God. So what has He commanded me to do? Speak on purity. Why me? I used to be so lack in this area of my life. I find myself crying out before Him, "Lord why? Don't you know my past?" hahaha silly question. He answers me with, "Yes, child, don't you know I allowed you to go through that path in order for you to come out refined and renewed... new and willing to be a living breathing testimony to girls who are impure. Share your story of how I delivered you...and how our relationship has grown more and more." Weird huh? No.... God is just amazing like that.

I guess you could say my entire life has been one just roller coaster ride. But it's funny because I don't think that's how God looks at it. I'm sure He was looking at me sometimes and saying, "Oh no... I guess I'll have to teach her the hard way.." and so He did... but that's my fault. But once again, I wouldn't regret anything in my life for a minute. Why? God has used every single circumstance in my life to shape me, mold me, and provide for me in every area of my life. I feel Him pruning and putting together every intricate detail of my heart so that I can become the woman He's created me to be. I am loving every single minute of it. And even though I am not HAPPY for the sin I used to be apart of (and sometimes still am today!) He is merciful and gracious...full of compassion. He remembers my frame and knows I am dust. He has a beautiful plan for my life.... one I cannot simply see right now 100%, but am trusting that it is something that I need to lay and surrender unto Him.

So yes, sometimes I sit and wonder, "What are you doin, God?" And even though it's never a sure fire answer right away.... through the pain and circumstances, He has shown me WHY He's doing what He's doing. He brings me from wanting to drop out of classes to putting me into a Crisis Pregnancy Ministry WHILE giving me the dedication to my classes. So neat. He draws me out of a lifestyle of impurity and relationships into a woman who chooses purity and desires to reach out to teenagers who are going through the same. He has taken a jerky, selfish, gossip-girl and turned her heart into a girl who desires people. One who has a heart for reaching out to people and LOVING people with the love Christ has loved me with. So, I can already begin to see the plan He's laid out for me. One so beautiful and incredible I don't think I could map it out myself. It wouldn't look as good as He has written it out to be. It's not gonna be easy walking through this path all the time. But God has promised to hold my hand...guiding and leading me through it all. He CAN do it. And I truly believe He is testing me to prove whether or not I put all my trust into Him... 150%.

So no, I don't exactly know what His plan is for my life...what I should be doing tomorrow, next week, or even next year. But I know that walking hand in hand with Him is the most beautiful place to be. There is NOTHING safer, than being in the center of God's will... even when it's unknown.

Trust Him.

"Because You have been my help; Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You. Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:7-8

Thursday, February 11, 2010

hope in the Lord.

I think sometimes we discourage ourselves by thinking that what we desire can't be possible. What happened to when the Lord told us that what is impossible with man IS POSSIBLE with God? The enemy knows what to do to us to get us feeling defeated and discouraged... but we need to HOPE in the Lord and He will renew our strength!!! As the past few years have gone by, I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness in my life. I had struggled with many issues in the past and the Lord continued to comfort me with Psalm 37:1-5, and as I flip back to that verse, it continues to comfort me and give me peace through many different trials and tribulations.

"Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself, also, in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:1-5


Such reassurance in knowing that the God we love and serve not only will bless you by following Him, but He so desires that you follow Him.. with all your heart! There is no greater joy.

I don't ever want to think that I'll get what I want just by following God's rules... what awful motives those are. We can't use a relationship with God to get what we want... and He knows our true hearts anyways. We need to continually be seeking after Him daily... loving Him with all our hearts and walking hand in hand with Him. All the good things of this earth will soon pass away, but our true and everlasting reward will be in heaven if we commit our lives to Him.

My little devotional that I got as a gift from my dear mentor, sister and friend, was sooo good this morning. Last night I was discouraged and defeated myself.. not believing that the things I had desired for so long could ever come into my life... but God again, in His everlasting lovingkindess for us gave me this passage and I want to share it with you. May it be an encouragement to you as it is to me.

"But as it is written: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:0

If Christians suffer like everybody else, why bother living for God or following Him? If all we had to live for were the rewards of this life, then a "why bother" attitude might be understandable. But this perspective is wrong for at least two reasons. First, when you try to obey God, you end up enjoying life the way it is meant to be enjoyed. Your life displays integrity, and your conscience is clear. Second, this life is not all there is. The Bible is clear that those who trust in Jesus Christ for salvation receive the promise of eternal life. Your faithfulness may or may not result in rewards in this life, but your rewards in heaven will be greater than you can imagine.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

new opportunity.

Sometimes when we are struggling with one area in our lives, we fail to see what God wants to do aside from that. It's hard when you're discouraged and feel defeated because you only focus on those two emotions... but God continually sees what you're going through. He already knew you would go through it before you got to that place in your life. He has a plan for you... and maybe He's allowing you to go through this difficult time to teach you to trust in Him, or to teach you patience, or to allow you to draw closer to Him. I know right now I'm going through one of those hard times with school. I feel as though I've been abandoned, and I feel hopelessly discouraged... but I KNOW God has a plan for me... He is going to get me through it... I just need to continue to trust in Him.

He hasn't brought you to the place you're in now for nothing. I'm continually reminded of Joshua 1:9 where it says, "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Such comforting words. As I have struggled with school lately, God continually pours His love upon my life regardless of the difficulties I'm facing. He has opened a new door for me... one that I had desired for so long but didn't know how or when or even IF I would be able to do it. Last night at church two women came to speak from a crisis pregnancy center down here at school. My hearts desire has been for youth, but more so for young women who might struggle with impure relationships, teen pregnancy, or abortion. My heart breaks for those young girls and I desire to be able to reach out to them with the love of Christ. God opened a door for me to be able to go and volunteer weekly at this pregnancy center, and because I am over 20, I am able to work with clients which is such a blessing. I'm so super excited!

Through this situation, God has reassured me that He does have a beautiful plan for my life, far beyond what I can see. Through the difficulties and struggles I'm facing, He has continued to bless me in other areas of my life... and if He can open a door for this ministry He's called me to, then He can do ANYTHING :) But that's obviously true... what is impossible with man is possible with God.

:)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

best friend time.













Here are some pictures from the years I've been best friends with this girl! God has blessed me with Helene. We are blessed because God has given us the gift of sharing worship with others.

Being best friends for 21 years has blessed me beyond measure. How many people can say they have a best friend that has lasted that long? Some of these photos are embarrassing and others are cute :) From years ago to recent, I can't help but to think of the fun times God has blessed us with!!!

We are goof balls.


We think alike.

I love her :)


It was such a blessing to be able to come home for the weekend and spend valuable time with her! Praying God leads and guides the Pastor's Overnight in 2 weeks...the worship is all about HIM! May the Lord use us as He wills...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

walk worthy.


Guys, as I continue steadfast in the Lord and walking beside Him, I am humbled, amazed, and blessed at all He has done for me. You're probably sick of hearing this I know, but as I continue to bask in His presence He shows me something new to learn from every day. It's such an awesome thing to experience.

There's a lot going on right now in regards to my future and what the Lord is calling me to do, and as I continuously pray about it and become worried with the thought of what will be, where He'll take me, and what I'll have to go through to get there... one thing remained. As I spent the past few days pondering my future and praying about where God wanted me to go next, I couldn't help but to feel anxiety, stress and pressure because it's never a fun thing to NOT know where you're made to go, or where the Lord is wanting you to go. Walking home from class it dawned on me... my life is made for a purpose. God calls His children to walk WORTHY of the calling with which He has called us... we're not on this Earth for a normal life, guys. We're here to serve, love, and show people Christ in every aspect and area of our lives. That is our purpose.

While contemplating what to do next, my heart cried out to the Lord. Chatting with Him made me realize..my life is made for walking with purpose. That purpose is Christ. I want every part of me to be walking worthy of the calling with which He's called me. Regardless of where that takes me, what people say behind my back, and how I'm treated... I'm here for one purpose and one purpose only... Christ. With that said, I am to walk worthy of that calling which He's called me to. My life was created for Him. In every area of my life, the uncertainties, the broken pieces, the confused times, the path that I'm walking, in the love I have for Him... it's all for a purpose and I want it ALL for Christ. It's not about me.... this relationship with the Lord has showed me that all decisions great and small need to be consulted along with Him. I can't walk two feet on my own without Him guiding me. He has all the pieces of my life already figured out so why do I worry? The Lord knows the way in which I should walk... and walking hand in hand with Him has been the most beautiful, and scary experience of my life... but I think that scared feeling comes from surrendering everything I have unto Him. It is scary! But we have HOPE that the Lord will hold us even when we fall... He will uphold us with His hand, we can be sure of that.

He has a FUTURE and a HOPE for His people (Jeremiah 29:11). It's such a blessing to be walking in the light of the King. It isn't always easy and sometimes it means that what is right might not always be popular but so what? What can man do to us? God is on our side... He is all we need to be putting our trust in.

Walk WORTHY of the calling with which you guys were called (Ephesians 4:1). As Christians, we are not on this earth to fulfill the norms and experiences of this world. We're here for the sole purpose of Christ. To bring people to Christ, to walk hand in hand with Him every step of the way, no matter where we are, and to love Him and others with the same love He loved us with.

That is our purpose. My prayer is that you are encouraged in Him... and praying about what the Lord wants you to be doing as you're walking closely with Him.

Sometimes, it's the best and most secure place to be.. when not knowing what to do, where to walk, or what the future holds because Christ has it all in the palms of His hands.

Trust in Him.

"Walk worthy of the calling with which you were called...." Ephesians 4:1

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

healer.

One thing that has come into my mind lately has been the simple fact that God is the ultimate healer. I have listened to "Healer" by Kari Jobe over and over again, and every time I do I can't help but to be amazed and in awe of how God's healing power has restored my life.

God heals in all and every circumstance. In the worst circumstances, and even in the minute circumstances. His healing power is inevitable, it is irreversible, all powerful and the most miracle ever known.

As I have dealt with certain situations in my life, although I have never had a healing physically... I have had a beautiful healing from the Lord. He has healed my heart from grief, heartbreak, loss, devastation, and from depression. Not only has God taken the intricate details of my heart and healed them... but He has also healed my soul from hell. Sometimes I sit in amazement that He has taken a sinful, wretched, lost soul that I was and brought me into the beautiful glorious love that He freely offered. Looking back I am sometimes speechless at the fact that He has healed me in the most desperate of circumstances. In those times I thought to myself, 'I'll never be the same... I'll never be healed from this...' but trusting and surrendering all I had to the Lord truly restored my life. He is so powerful!

In the song "Healer" there's a verse that states: "Nothing is impossible for You...You hold my world in Your hands."

Nothing.... absolute NOTHING is impossible for Christ. His hand is outstretched and willing to save us. It is amazing.

The Lord has guided and directed my life according to HIS will, not my own. I am blessed and amazed at His provision and most of all, His healing power in my life. He died on the cross for me... He knew even before I became a sinner, that I was going to be a sinner, and He knew all the rejection, hatred, despise and uncertainty I would feel for Him, yet He STILL died for my sins and chose to love me. How can you not love Him back? How? He is the joy of my life. He has CHANGED my life. I am blessed, amazed, in awe, often times speechless at the healing power of God... without His hand, I would be no one.

He is the ultimate healer. Don't ever think for one minute that your circumstance can't ever become clean again. Don't let anyone make you believe that you're a lost cause, or that your loved one will never be fully healed... God can do all things.

I encourage you to go and listen to "Healer" by Kari Jobe. It has been the best worship song in this season of my life.... I am overwhelmingly blessed by His healing power.