Tuesday, April 27, 2010

hope for what we do not see.


As I sat down and did my devotionals a few days ago, the Lord gave me a verse that truly convicted me.

Romans 8:24-25 says, "For we were saved in this hope, but hope for what we see is not hope; for why does one hope for what he sees? For if we hope for what we do not see we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."

That truly hit me hard. As I sat there it was like the Lord was telling me, "Why are you hoping and wishing for the things of this world? Hope and be expectant for ME, not anyone or anything else." And its so true... lately I've been desiring things other than Christ. I'm not saying that having a desire to do well in school, make new friends, or go on vacation are bad things... but if we desire things that constantly fog our minds and take the place of desiring CHRIST the most...then it becomes an issue. That was my problem. I was so worried and hopeful for things of this world, whether it be problems to get resolved, things for the future or whatever else...God was reminding me that He was way more important and beautiful than those things and to TRUST in Him.

Such an encouragement :) I truly believe He gave me that verse to show me what's truly important and that's Him. It has become one of my life verses to live by.

Sometimes it's hard in this world to be satisfied. Why are humans so needy, greedy and selfish? It's because sin entered the world and caused us to be that way. Whenever we have something we feel like we don't have enough so we want more, then when we get more we're still not satisfied so we want more. Then we get more than that and we're STILL not satisfied. It's like this vicious cycle of selfishness.

That's what our society and generation have become. Needy and desiring of things of the WORLD, but how can that possibly satisfy? No greater joy have I found, than in Christ alone. HE is my joy, strength, comfort, and source...of everything!!!

My prayer is that I would fall more passionately in love with Him day after day, and that I would be expectant and desiring of HIM and Him alone while I'm on this earth.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

i'm singing.


Kari Jobe is one of my favorite worship leaders. Her heart for God is so intense and she desires to walk closely with Him every single day. Her worship is so anointed and I am completely ministered by it and blessed!! God has truly used her worship in my life to change my heart towards worship ministry :)

One of her songs really stick out to me. "I'm Singing" is a song about being joyful and singing praises to God REGARDLESS of circumstance or situation. We can be blessed beyond measure and sing. We can be battered, beaten and torn and still sing praise to God. I think as Christians we all suffer those times where spiritually, we feel defeated, torn, hopeless....but you know what, in those times it's important to continuously sing praises to God even MORE because His work is going to be done through those situations!!!

My life has been a battle with warfare, worldly and spiritually. But through it all, God has reminded me of His unfailing love and redemption over my life. I no longer need to think of the past because it is BEHIND ME and Christ is going to do something so totally new through me. Praise? Heck yeah :)

So, to all the times I've felt hopeless.... I'm singing.
To my heart, who now has to deal with the past of impure relationships...I'm Singing.
To these rough patches with school where I continuously fail at math..I'm Singing.
To the lies satan throws at me that I'm ugly and unworthy...I'm Singing.
To the beautiful ministry God has led me to at college...I'm Singing.
To the verbal and mental abuse I've received in the past...I'm Singing.
To the times of feeling not good enough...I'm Singing.
To the POWER through CHRIST to help me forgive the unforgivable...I'm Singing.
To the joy and strength I have in Jesus....I'm Singing.
To the painful time when I lost a childhood friend by a bullet...I'm Singing.
To the three best girlfriends I could ever have growing up with....I'm Singing.
To the honor of being a daughter of a Pastor....I'm Singing.
To the people who have gossiped about me and slandered my name..I'm Singing.
To the feelings I feel now of discouragement, uselessness, hurt, darkness, being tattered and torn....I'm Singing.
To the gift of being single and Christ working in my heart...I'm Singing.
To all of the things I face before, now, and in the future, whether good or bad, whether by God or by satan.... I'm Singing, because regardless, Christ WILL overcome.

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

boldness.


As the weather gets nicer I seem to become more blessed by my surroundings... people, creation, and the heat! Today I was walking to class and noticed a man, standing up preaching the gospel on the quad. It blessed my heart so immensely I couldn't help but go up to him and thank him. I hope he was encouraged! There's a difference between being BOLD for Christ and being offensive. I believe the approach he was using was his love, boldness, and confidence in Christ. There have been people in the past, however, who are offensive that come and speak on the quad and turn people AWAY from the good news of Christ. I truly believe we need to approach people in LOVE by bringing them the gospel...not in such a way that you have to yell and scream at them to get their attention. That isn't how we should go about it.

This man looked like he was wearing humility, love, kindness, and TRUTH. It made me realize -- where have all the bold Christians gone? I'm at fault too. Sometimes I get a teeny bit ashamed for carrying my Bible or wearing a Christian t-shirt or showing off my purity ring...why?? Why should I be embarrassed? Other people aren't embarrassed for doing what they do. Why should I? I have HOPE and CONFIDENCE in Christ... HE has saved me and done wonderful things in my life, so why should I hide it? My heart's desire is to be more bold. I feel like today's Christians are blending in with their surroundings too much. We are meant to stand out! I just LOVE 1 Peter 2:9 where it says: "You are a CHOSEN generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."

That verse has become my life verse lately...I have been CHOSEN out of my generation to be a LIGHT. Am I fulfilling the calling God has placed on my life? Sometimes I think I could do much better.

I pray that the boldness that that man showed today... God would continually change my heart and give me boldness to do the work He's called me to do, that I wouldn't fit in with my surrounds, or become like the world, but be set apart for His purpose, and His purpose only.

I desire to be bold for Christ.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

a year flown by blessing by blessing.




Tonight I celebrated the year that has gone by being in a campus ministry, Encounter. It has been a huge blessing to be involved in such a God-centered ministry. The pastor, staff, and shepard leaders have been here to encourage me, pray for me, and bring me closer to the Lord. It's through Encounter that I have found my TRUE self worth in Christ, and my hearts desires towards ministry. What a BLESSING it has been! So thankful I have one more year to be in the presence of such wonderful people.

Tonight we had our annual banquet for Encounter and my parents drove down to be with me and attend! You can't even imagine my excitement as I got to worship next to my parents! They finally got to see first hand the ministry that the Lord has used in my life to bring me closer to Him. All I could do was cry tears of joy :)

Mom & Dad brought me flowers, spent time with me, and left. I am so blessed to not only have such a wonderful ministry in my life, but such wonderful, encouraging and Godly parents. I love them so much!


"Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." - Psalm 107:8-9

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

waiting.


I think the biggest issue people face is patience. We don't always want to WAIT and be patient, we always want to know our future before it unravels. We would much rather see who we're going to marry, what kind of job we are going to get, and where we will be living in five years. I think God allows us to wait on Him for a few reasons. I believe as we are not sure what we will be facing and patiently waiting on Him, He is trying to teach us to trust Him more. This season of my life has been a rough one for me... but the Lord has never proven to fall short... He has always come through with His promises. So do I doubt? I have no reason to..but my flesh sometimes does. I also think God wants us to wait so that we can be emptied of everything, and FILLED with Him. Sometimes we just want to rush things and do things our own way. When was the last time you did something without carefully thinking about it? Were the outcomes good? I know for me, I've done several things in my past without weighing the outcomes or seeking Godly advice. They've always turned out to be a huge train wreck.

What I am struggling with is the simple fact of this: I have no idea where the Lord is leading me for my future. It scares me to think of the possibilities because failure is one aspect of those possibilities. He is SO faithful and so good... but sometimes our flesh tells us to doubt and re-think our trust in the Lord.

If you are struggling with a season of your life where you're unsure and not quite hearing God's voice as clearly as you'd like... WAIT on HIM. He is doing this for a purpose, and not just any purpose, but HIS purpose...for HIS WILL. He loves you and has a beautiful, complete & perfect plan for your life. Wait on Him.

Fall more in love with Him.
Trust that God knows exactly what He's doing, 100% of the time.

Waiting and being patient is never easy... as humans, we're so used to everything fast paced and rushed. Why can't we just rest a while?

Being in the presence of our Lord is the most beautiful place to be...whether foggy future or not.

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" ~ Psalm 27:14

Friday, April 2, 2010

free gift.


How many times have you given someone a gift, simply because you love that person? Or because you thought of them that day and just wanted to do something nice for them? I think most of the time we feel pressured to give gifts to people because its Christmas or their birthday and they gave us gifts first. But I think the most precious gift is when someone does it out of nowhere, surprisingly, without anyone asking them to. Sounds very practical, but as today is Good Friday I'm constantly reminded of the free gift Jesus gave for ME, a horrible sinner who didn't deserve any gift at all!!! Can you think of giving someone a gift after they have been awfully mean to you? Probably not. Because your flesh is probably saying, "Why would I give them ANYTHING? They were so mean to me." Yes, true... but Jesus didn't feel that way at all. He freely gave us His life on the cross, for a special reward... eternity with Him.

Jesus didn't want to go through with it though. He proclaimed, "Father..please let this cup pass from me, but nevertheless, not my will but Your will be done." How sweet. I love the fact that Jesus was fearful and not WANTING to do it, but was surrendered and willing to because it was God's command. Humbling. There are many times in my life when God commands me to do something and I don't want to. Some of those times I don't say "Your will be done.." I do my own thing. Sad.

Jesus death on the cross was the perfect portrayal of true love, surrender, obedience, and commitment. How can His children, then, not do any of that in return for Him? I think of my relationship with the Lord and how I keep falling in love with Him....and I can only pray that the desire would be to fall in love with Him MORE as each day continues. I can only pray that I would appreciate His gift of death, so that we could have life. It's the most precious and sacrificial gift of all time.

As I walked back from class today I was a tad discouraged seeing people walking around, and it shocked me as to how many people never acknowledge Easter or Good Friday. So many people didn't go home for it, even. I then started crying almost...wondering, "Lord, why don't they love You?" As I walked on I saw a man, standing on a ledge, preaching the gospel. It was SUCH an encouragement to me. As I got on the bus to go get my car, we stopped at a light and the bus driver went into his backpack, and pulled out his military Bible, reading it at every red light. More encouragement. It was as if Jesus was saying, "Many follow Me and love Me, but many do not. Pray for those." I was blessed.

Daily I'm reminded of the price Christ paid for me... on the cross that night. It's something I sit and wonder, "Would I be able to even do that? To lay my life down for my friends?" We were Jesus' friends way before we even followed Him. He died for us before we even knew Him. Sacrificially. Freely. Out of LOVE. Wow... if that isn't love....what is? That's the whole basis of a relationship with Christ.

May His love abound in me more and more everyday and MY love for Him abound more as I walk closely with Him.

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:13

"But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8