worth it.

"There's a girl in the corner, with tear stains on her eyes from the places shes wandered and the shame she can't hide, she says how did i get here? I'm not who I once was, and I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love. But don't you know who you are? What has been done for you? Don't you know who you are.... you are more than the choices that you've made you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create...you've been remade."

Once I found out the new Tenth Avenue North CD came out I ran out and bought it. These guys don't only have a raw talent, but they are passionate for Christ and live it out to the fullest. Their music portrays Godliness, truth and purity. This song I quoted was from their new CD and it's called "You Are More". Can you relate to it? I know I can. That girl was ME a year or so back. And even though I walked through the darkness my flesh wasn't feeling bad about it. I look back and think 'wow... how could I have done such things?' Whenever I step into a place that I know fulfills the lusts of the flesh, I just feel odd and weird being there, and I realized you can't possibly be filled with the Spirit and a Christian and enjoy the things of the world. It isn't possible.

The Lord truly convicted me of this, but He's always gracious to remind me that the mistakes of the past, are in the PAST... and He doesn't remind of you them once they're forgiven. Satan tries to use our past mistakes to condemn us and make us believe we aren't good enough for Christ but that's a total lie.

I was that girl who continuously made mistakes and lived in sin, until Christ redeemed me. Through His unconditional love for me, and because of the cross... I am redeemed and have been made new. SUCH a blessing :) He is so good!

If you find yourself curious to whether or not you truly know Christ, yet still fulfill the things of this world, or the desires of your flesh...think again. There is no way you can enjoy the things of this world and STILL be a Christian. It isn't Biblical, and it isn't upright.

Jesus is worth SO MUCH MORE than the things of this world. If you are in Christ, you wouldn't even WANT to be involved with the things of this world.

He's so worth giving up everything you've ever had, to follow after the One who can give you everything you need. Think about that.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17

answered prayer.

As I was reading my devotional this morning, the topic really hit home for me. Sometimes, we pray and ask the Lord to do His will in our lives, and to answer prayer...but is the answer we're looking for based upon what WE WANT? Or upon what God's will is for our lives? It's tricky, because I know part of our flesh wants what we want all the time....yet we do want what God has for us... HIS best, in every area of our lives! The topic of my devotional was on prayer.... and it states:

"God not only listens carefully to every prayer, he also answers each one. God may answer yes, no, or wait, just as loving parents might answer the request of their child with one of these three responses. Answering yes to every request would spoil you and endanger your well-being. Answering no to every request would be vindictive, stingy, and hard on your spirit. Answering wait to every request would frustrate you. God always answers your prayers according to what He knows is best for you. When you don't get the answer you want, you will grow in spiritual maturity as you seek to understand why God's answer is in your best interest."

I never thought of answered prayer in such a way. No wonder the Lord doesn't always give us a yes answer. I think back upon the situations in my life and tried putting a "YES" answer on them..... even though God put a clear NO. Man, did He save me from many problems and issues growing up!! If the Lord had said yes to everything I wanted or "needed", I would be in huge trouble! God gives us certain answers to spare us, help us, or bless us. This past year, the main answer to prayer in my life has been "WAIT". I didn't realize or understand why the Lord kept telling me to wait..... I won't lie, I was getting very frustrated and upset thinking of ways to go around it. But the Lord has other plans..... and He is teaching me to be content in WHATEVER I am doing...whether bad, good, or confusing. Throughout the waiting process, He has poured upon His love and mercy.

I now can see why the Lord has told me to wait. I don't know exactly, but I know it's because He is using these situations to further my relationship with Him, and to allow me to TRUST in Him more. It has definitely grown me to fall in love with Him more too, and with those, I would never trade the hard times for anything. He is so good!

As humans, we pray and pray and pray, yet we want the answer we're looking for....but that doesn't work. Does mom and dad always say yes to you when you ask for money, vacations, or clothes? No...but I know you're hoping they do. They give you answers you NEED rather than the answers you want... something we all need to take into account. The Lord loves each and every one of us. His answers are not always yes, they are sometimes no, and often times wait.

I am blessed at this... because I know the Lord is only showing His love more and more through answered prayer. "YES" isn't just answered prayer.... in my life, "WAIT" has been more answered prayer than anything, and I am exceedingly abundantly blessed beyond measure.

Wait on the Lord. He has GREAT things in store for those who love Him. He may be saying yes, no, or wait. But I know each of these answers is to equip us, and make us stronger in our walks with Him.

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

beautiful day,

This past weekend was SUCH a blessing. My best friend got married and began her new life with her precious hubby. How sweet. It was quite the weekend! My dad did the ceremony so it was neat to truly see him in action! It was different this time, though. I've seen my dad do weddings all my life....but seeing him marry my best friend was something else. It reminded me of how sweet my Heavenly Father is, but how sweet my earthly father is as well. God has blessed me beyond measure with a dad who not only devotes himself to ministry and Christ, but to his family and work. It's a huge blessing to see my father do all he can to sacrifice himself for his family and ministry. A picture perfect metaphor for Christ and His church. As I walked down the aisle before my dear best friend, I looked at my dad on the other end and began tearing up. It was so weird! I thought to myself -- HOW am I going to even survive my wedding tear free?! With my sweet dad walking me down the aisle AND marrying me, and then being face to face with my precious soon to be husband....it's a tear fest waiting to happen.

But that's ok. It all is such a sweet reminder of how faithful our God is in WAITING for who He has for me. Such a blessing. As I got to celebrate the weekend with friends and loved ones, my excitement and love for my best friend only grew. She wasn't the little girl who used to play legos with me!!! She was a woman, now starting a new journey with the man of her dreams.... and Jesus guiding them both :) How sweet.

My prayer for Danielle and AJ is that their love would abound more towards Christ every single day, as they too, fall more madly in love with each other.

It was the hugest blessing. If I'm this overwhelmed and thankful for my friend's wedding... WHAT am I going to be like for my own? Man, I'm worried to find out :)

That will definitely be the day... :)

give thanks.

Lately, my heart has been pondering all the blessings God has given me throughout the years. I even think back a few years ago when I wasn't entirely walking with Him, and how He continually preserved me for what He had for me.... my mind thinks, 'wow, Lord, how stupid was I?' yet I'm sure as He knew I was thinking that He was like, "I knew that would happen even before you were created.... I have a plan for you... never once was I going to let you go and say oh well." It amazes me at how much He loves me... it's infallible. The other day I came across Jeremy Camp's live version of "Give Me Jesus". Such a beautiful worship song reminding me that through the business and craziness of this world... I just want one thing and one thing only: Jesus. Take everything else... just give me Jesus. It brought me to tears the other day as I thought about the words of that song. When so many times I desire things that aren't bad, but things that take the place of Him, or just aren't Him in general. It sparked a flame in my heart to truly desire the King.. and to bask in all His goodness and love. There is nothing greater.

As I sat and spent time with Him today, I decided to write a long list of things that I am thankful for, or have been thankful for in the past. Though I've faced trials and tribulations, I am blessed beyond measure by them...because I know God has used them in my life for His purpose and will. Each and every circumstance He has allowed, has been a part of the plan He has for me. It's such a beautiful thing. As I wrote my list, I prayed over it asking that the Lord would take it as a sweet offering.

Who says we only need to give thanks when Thanksgiving holidays come around? Our sweet and precious Savior desires our thanksgiving ALWAYS, every single day, and probably way more than we give Him. I'm convicted of this. His love and sacrifice on the cross is more than enough for me, and because of that..I give Him praise and adoration. I'm amazed at how He loves me, and how much He loves all of us...even those of us who may not even care or love Him. He desires you.

"Give Me Jesus" has become the song on my heart lately and it's so true. Regardless of all the hectic business of this life..... I pray that He would just take it...and just give me Jesus.

"It is good to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night..." Psalm 92:1-2

oh, taste and see....

Through my devotional time lately, I keep going back to Psalm 34 as it is such a sweet sound to me. It's everything I am feeling lately, and more.. to offer Jesus the praises He deserves! Ever have those times in your prayer/journal time with Him that all you want to do is sing praises to Him over and over again? He alone is worthy.. sometimes I just want to burst out singing unto Him! Psalm 34 starts off with, "I will bless the Lord at ALL TIMES, His praise shall continually be in my mouth." SO awesome. It convicts me too... considering that I'm not always, and not even HALF of my time, praising the Lord for His goodness in my life. It's something I take for granted, His willingness to offer me blessings and yet I don't thank Him enough.

Throughout the entire chapter of Psalm 34, although it is altogether beautiful, my favorite verse would have to be 8.

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is GOOD; Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him!"

So wonderful. As I have looked back upon this year and the years prior, I have been nothing but grateful, thankful, and beyond blessed at all the Lord has done and continues to do!! Still amazing that He's chosen me, the foolish of this world, to be used in ways I could have never imagined.

Every time I go back and read verse 8, all I can do is sit in silence, meditating on it and thanking the Lord over and over again, for surely, the Lord IS GOOD! I am tasting His goodness every day I breathe. I am BLESSED but only because of HIM and because I have trusted in His mercy! How could anything in this world be better? There is NOTHING better than this.... nothing! Though I go through trials and tribulations...I have seen the past troubles and how God has redeemed me because I loved Him, walked hand in hand with Him, and TRUSTED in His goodness. His hand is not short to save, nor His ear heavy. He hears the cries of the righteous.... He is all together perfect, beautiful, lovely, and just.

I am madly, passionately, and incredibly in love with Him. Nothing can ever compare.

to God alone be the glory.

As I have been spending my quiet times with the Lord daily, He has given me a few verses that have stuck with me through the rough times. His love and faithfulness never ceases to pour upon me, even when I think I am completely broken and lost. He amazes me with His love and goodness towards me. Lately, He has comforted me with Romans 8:18-39. It's such a beautiful thing to be reminded of the fact that, even though in this life we go through tribulations and troubles.... our God is GREATER, and the glory which shall be revealed in us doesn't even compare to this hurt on earth.

It's a constant reminder of, there will be much tribulation in the world but the Lord has overcome the world. So sweet :) I just simply love the verse in Romans 8 that states, "For we were saved in this hope, but hoe that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance." SO true!!! That convicted me one night as I lay in bed. Why am I still desiring, still hoping for the rewards and blessings on this EARTH? I haven't been eternally minded and it's something the Lord convicted me of. We are to hope for the redemption of our Savior... for what's to come in heaven! NOT on this earth. I've realized... if we hope for goodness on this earth, we will always be dissatisfied. This earth can't simply fill the void with anything good... only Christ can do that.

Romans 8 is a beautiful example of reminding me that, though I go through darkness, tribulation and storms... God is faithful, and our glory which will be revealed in us is far more exceedingly greater than anything in this world.

I had a few dear friends spend the night this week and we went to my mentor and her husband's Bible study on Tuesday night... what a BLESSING it was :) God was so evident! The message was on how worry can cripple our thoughts, and leave us broken and non-trusting in Christ. So sad, and so true. I heard something that stuck with me.... it's that, though the darkness and hard times have been upon me, and I feel as though there's no air left... it's OKAY... because God has done enough for me! His death on the cross and sweet love for me is MORE than enough.. I shouldn't need anything else, and I shouldn't want anything else! So true. I am in aw of my Savior's love for me ... and that's more than enough.

So, as I walk daily hand in hand with Him...my prayer is fall more passionately in love with Him, and to obey whatever it is His will is. Though I can't see it yet, and I'm confused, foggy, and feeling lost at times, God is greater than it all... and HIS plan is far better than anything I can ever hope or dream of.

He is it, the best, the only, everything we need and should hope for.

Read Romans 8:18-39 and pray upon what the Lord would have of you to do. He is faithful, full of love, compassion and mercy.


"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

go cubbies.

Today the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to spend the day with the leadership team from Encounter, at the Cubs game. It was such a blessing to see everyone again! I had always been a teeny jealous (sad, I know!) that my brothers got to go to Cubs games all the time and I never did! Just a sweet reminder of how the Lord take those teeny desires of our hearts and blossoms them once we walk hand in hand with Him. Such a blessing!




Welcome to Wrigley Field!
Carli and I freezing at the game!
Me, Kellie and Carli before hopping on the subway!

wrap up.

As the year wraps up this week... the Lord continuously reminds me of how faithful He was in providing, guiding, and teaching me to trust in Him all throughout the school year. What happened in 1 year? I feel like it was a whirlwind of circumstances that were used for His glory and I couldn't be more blessed.


Reading my devotions tonight, the Lord used a verse to sum up how He has been so present in my life. Here are a few pictures from a canoe trip I went in this past year and how it relates to the scripture the Lord handed me...


His beauty and creation shines through the clouds.
God's beautiful creation in and through the water.



Psalm 65:11 says.... "You crown the year with Your goodness; And Your paths drip with abundance."

No other words suffice. Surely, the path He has led me on has most definitely been abundant in every which way. His goodness has been over the entire year, way more than I would have ever expected.

Lord, surely... You have crowned MY year with your goodness and faithfulness, and the path You have chosen for me... so drips with an abundance of blessings.

Wonderful.

encounters.

Just a few pictures of how the Lord has blessed me with amazing friends and fellowship this year...these are just a teeny sample of MANY people who have been an encouragement in my life this year :) God is so good.


Me & Phil the first day of move in!
Me & my beautiful roomie Megan at the Valentines Day Dance :)
Abraham and I at the campus house :)
Carli & I at the Girls Retreat!
Kellie, Shiann & I in Clinton, IL.
Me & Shiann at the Encounter cookout.
Cody from CL'N :)
As I look back at this past year, I can't believe all the Lord has done in and through me, and for me! His faithfulness and provision has been so clearly evident in my life, and I am overwhelmed with blessings by Him. It's hard to believe that this school year is over.... again! Wasn't I just a freshman? Didn't I just graduate high school? Now, I move on towards my LAST year of college.... CRAZY! But as I look back from community college and now onto the university... I could have never in a million years made it through without the strength of Christ. Phillipians says that I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me. So true! College isn't easy... and the stress levels only rise... but God is so good to get me through according to His will.

I never would have realized the blessings and joy the Lord has brought into my life by placing me at Encounter Campus Ministry this year. What a tremendous blessing its been. I've met people who have encouraged me in my walk, challenged me in my walk, and prayed for me as I walk hand in hand with Christ. These people encouraged me to never give up and to continue trusting in His goodness... without them, or this ministry...where would I be? Scary to think about. It's so crazy to think that just a year ago the Lord truly shook me and got hold of me. And through this year He's continuously blessed me beyond measure with people, prayer, ministry, closed doors and opened doors. The things He has taught me this year have been the hugest blessing upon my life. He's given me a passion for Him, His word, ministry, and for people.

Without the people the Lord has placed in my life this year, I'm not quite sure where I would be today.

So blessed and so encouraged by each and every one of them :)