Wednesday, December 15, 2010

He is for all mankind.


Imagine this, ladies. You go walking one day by yourself to pray or think about things. Suddenly, someone appears to you, but he seems rather...different. It isn't your usual person saying 'hi' as you walk past each other on the street. This man seems....different...holy or something. He tells you that you were chosen by God to have His only Son. You can't muster up any other words but... "Are you sure? No, this can't be. I haven't been with anyone. Plus, what will my family think? What about my friends? It's 2010. People talk. They'll think I'm promiscuous. I refuse. No no no." The guy continues to explain, "Don't worry. Everything will be fine... it's going to work out." Then leaves. Next thing you know, weeks later, your baby bump starts forming and people stare. Your friends turn their backs on you. They sit there asking who you even are anymore. Your family is disgusted and refuse to have any part in a relationship with you anymore. You're lonely. You have no one to talk to and you can't simply understand why God has chosen you to bear His child. You don't understand why you, out of all the other people in the world, He chose for such a divine purpose.

Oh yeah...none of this is a dream either. It's REAL LIFE. Can you seriously imagine that? It's what Mary had to go through as the angel of the Lord came and spoke to her. She nearly questioned it all... "How can this be? I have not been with any man." But did Mary refuse? Did she say she wouldn't do it? Of course not. Her exact words were: "Let it be done to me, according to Your word." Wow... can you imagine what that must have been like for a 15 year old girl, living in the time period she lived in? In those times, when a young girl was pregnant out of wedlock... the punishment was death. They were summonsed to get stoned. Man, take one look around you today and it's normal for women and young girls to get pregnant out of wedlock. It's simply horrible, and SINFUL.

Yet, Mary knew that God was bigger and greater than anything she had to face here on earth. Joseph also was upset with it all. He wasn't sure whether she had been unfaithful, and he even contemplated stoning his wife. Yet, in a dream, God spoke to him. When he woke up, he knew that it was exactly what God wanted for their life: to carry the Savior who would save all mankind.

Women, can you possibly imagine this? Can you fathom this? Mary was only 15. She was chosen to conceive a child EVEN THOUGH she had not been with a man. Her husband had to deal with it all. Her Son who she was to conceive (Jesus) was going to eventually die on the cross for all of mankind. I can't even wrap my head around it all. The Lord's plans for my life thus far have been adventurous, scary, exciting, and often times frightful. But..for me to carry a baby without being with a man, then to come and find out my baby was going to die for the sins of the world. Wow...it's something I simply cannot understand, or fathom. It's amazing.

As I watch "The Nativity" every Christmas, I just want to cry through the entire movie. What a sweet and precious woman Mary was, even in her young age. The most High and Holy God chose her out of all the women in the world, to carry His Son and to bring Him into the world. Mary and Joseph knew that their Son was for all mankind. They knew the divine purpose and plan God had laid on their lives from the get go. Mary willingly allowed her Heavenly Father to do whatever He wanted. What obedience, faithfulness and devotion she portrayed for Her King.

As I ponder that...I'm in awe. I know that the devotion and faithfulness Mary showed to her King is the same devotion and faithfulness I need to show to my Heavenly Father as well. Oh, how I yearn to be more like Mary.

Once Jesus was born, people from all over came to see this beautiful, miraculous Child. All Mary could say was, "He is for all mankind." It's simply mind boggling.

Jesus Christ... He was the One born into this world...God in the image of flesh... to die for ME, for you, for the sins of the whole world. It's something that is just too incredible to think upon.

Every Christmas, I remind myself to true reason for the holiday...and that's Jesus. As I have begun getting into the habit of watching "The Nativity" every Christmas...it really gives me a deeper and more meaningful thought on what the Christmas season is truly all about.

My heart lately has been so empty..but SO full of Jesus. It's all I've needed, and all I've wanted. My prayer constantly is that, I wouldn't be filled with love, peace, joy, friends, family, riches, material possessions, or anything else...but the ONLY thing I would be filled with would be Jesus.

He is truly all I want. He is all I need. Everything else in this world is simply...nothing on my list. Jesus is enough, and I am more than willing to say that out loud. I am madly in love with Him.

He chose to go to the cross...just as Mary chose to bare God's Son for me... Jesus went to the cross at Calvary and died in MY place. That should have been me up there. How can I not willingly and lovingly give Him my entire life? There is no greater joy, no greater reward, and no greater fulfillment than walking hand in hand with Jesus.

Nothing can be better.

So, as Christmas comes at us quickly, I pray that our hearts would be empty, but so full of just Jesus. He is the reason we celebrate, and He is all we need. Praying that our hearts would be Christ centered and 'others' centered, and that our fulfillment would be in Christ alone.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

rejoicing.



Tonight, I am rejoicing with joy inexpressible. I can't comprehend it, I can't fully explain it, I can't even physically show enough of it all. My God is extremely sovereign, victorious, faithful and merciful. Tonight was one of those intimate moments with Jesus, just rejoicing, crying and thanking Him unconditionally for what He has done for me.

I have had a discouraged attitude, an attitude of self seeking desire, wondering why I was so selfish, not always willing to serve like I should. I kept praying prayers such as: "Lord, please, change my heart. I want, I yearn to be a servant..more than ever before. Why am I so selfish sometimes? Why is my flesh always in the way?" I became to understand tonight the reasons why. First off...I wasn't even fully sure I had been baptized with the Holy Spirit, so that's a whole different story. After I had formally prayed that prayer... the Lord began to reveal my eyes as to what my problem has been. I just love when He reveals my sin. It isn't always nice, or pretty to see...and most of the time I'm convicted beyond belief.

Yet, it was so precious as to what He showed me. For so long I had been so "SELF" focused, and not "others" focused. Sure I love people and my loved ones, I pray for them, but am I honestly the precious servant that the Lord wants me to be? To the fullest? I'm being honest when I say no.

For so long I have thought, 'how do I feel? how do I look? how do I come across to others?' me me me, I, I, I, blablablablabla ANNOYING!!!!!

Seriously, it's sickening. My sweet precious friend and her husband have been brought into my life for such a unique reason. The Lord used her to draw me back into His precious will. He led her to encourage me to surrender and give my life fully over to Him. Now, 2 years later, we are the best of friends. Her husband spoke at church tonight and made a good point: "If you sit and look at yourself in the mirror constantly, you're going to get sick of it!" HAHA so true! And for so long, that's been ME. Looking at myself in the mirror constantly, looking at 'self self self', wondering what do I need to make me feel better? What should I go do to make me happy? Wow..can you say sickening? Because let's get serious, I'm sick of myself.

So, as the Lord opened my eyes tonight I felt extremely convicted. I mean, this life isn't my own. I don't belong to this world and my citizenship is in heaven. So, who cares what I look like to others? Or what others think? The only thing I want to accomplish in this world until I go home to be with Jesus is that people have nothing awful or great to say about me other than: "She talked about Jesus a lot, it was kinda weird. All she did was say how much she loved Him and how much her life was dedicated to serving Him. Whatever." THAT is all I want people to remember me for. Do you think people know me like that now? Sad to say I'm sure not everyone does. Maybe most do.

Yet, that is the purpose of my life you guys. It SHOULD be the purpose of yours too. Not about how many relationships you can have, how beautiful you look, how tan you are, how skinny you are, how much money you make. I know I go over this quite a lot...but the Lord really allowed it to hit home with me tonight. If I would, for like...2 minutes get over mySELF and start thinking upon others, through the help of His Holy Spirit I can soooo be the servant and lover that I yearn to be..for Him and for others.

I don't want the words, 'me', 'I', or 'self' in my vocabulary anymore. I don't want to even THINK them. Oh, my prayer is that my heart and mind would constantly be praying and saying, 'what can I do for OTHERS today?' or, 'who needs encouragement today?' and honestly, I don't care if I get recognition, in fact, I wouldn't do ANY of these things if people were to thank me. I don't need thank you's, blessings, or smiles...all I need is the satisfaction of knowing that the Lord thinks that I am precious and honorable in His sight. That's all that matters.

So, as He revealed to me my sin, and how 'self' focused I had become, I began to cry out to the Lord that He would truly change my heart...major time. I want to wake up in the morning thinking upon Him of course..but thinking upon OTHERS. This life isn't about me. I was blessed and moved at what the Lord showed me through my daily devotional. Here's what tonight said:

"The dust will return to the earth as it was. The body is sown in corruption. It is sown in dishonor. It is sown in weakness. It is sown a natural body. The first man was of the earth, made of dust. Dust you are, and to dust you shall return. One dies in his full strength, being wholly at ease and secure. Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul, never having eaten with pleasure. They lie down alike in the dust, and worms cover them. My flesh. . .will rest in hope. After my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see GOD. The Lord Jesus Christ. . .will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. Lord, make me to know my end, and what is the measure of my days, that I may know how frail I am. So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

[Eccles. 12:7; 1 Cor 15:42-44; 1 Cor 15:47; Gen 3:19; Job 21:23, 25-26; Ps. 16:9; Job 19:26; Phil 3:20-21; Ps 39:4; Ps 90:12]


So you see, you guys, the Lord has opened my eyes after months of wondering, questioning, being discouraged...but it's all because I was so worried about me and what I needed, what I wanted. When did I have time to think upon others? Or ask the Lord to fill me with His Spirit for strength? I love how when you read the Word, it's like He reveals new things each time you read the same passage over and over again. Is He incredible or what?

My God is sovereign. That's all I can really say. So, as I got finished with my precious time with Him, I began to fold some laundry..yea great stuff. Yet, I couldn't help but to SMILE and then, tears came falling down my face. I knew, that through all the oppression, the discouragement, the thoughts of loneliness, despair, curiosity, wonder... the Lord had been with me the entire time. He was waiting for HIS precious timing to reveal His complete purpose for it all. Honestly, it was at the most perfect time, too. I haven't had such a sweet overwhelming sense of joy and love for my God since last year. I feel this way every day, but it's once in a while that He truly does something to break down the walls of discouragement and reveal His precious plans to you. It may take time...but the waiting process is the best, because through it, He shows you His love, His patience and His goodness.

What could be better? I can't help but to tell satan what a low life he is. Yeah, satan, you can try to tempt me, trip me, oppress me, but I have a GOD who is Greater, Mightier, Higher than you'll ever be. You won't win, ever.

My GOD is awesome, powerful, sovereign, faithful, merciful. What can be better? It's one of those moments where I can honestly sit back and say that no matter what comes my way...what trials fall on me, what tribulations knock on my door...my GOD is victorious, and when you pray the prayer that He would help you overcome your obstacle...wait in silence, at His feet because deliverance will come. He never fails you.



"In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my Light, my strength, my song.
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firmed through the fiercest drought and storm


What heights of love what depths of peace
When fears are still when strivings cease
My Comforter my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.


There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again


And as He stands in victory
Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ


No guilt in life no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny


No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns, or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

just give me Jesus.

Lately, the Lord has put a few things on my heart to really draw me nearer to Him. For a few months now He has shown me what it's truly like to live. It isn't all about the cultural beauty, material possessions, friends, popularity, ect. He has shown me that the purpose of living, is living a life of simplicity, of holiness and of purity. This is the life I yearn to live and why? Simply, because my Jesus has given all He had (His life) for my ransom. What else could I possibly live for?

I have seen Him bring me out of the pit of broken hearts, promiscuity, bitterness, unforgiveness, brokenness, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness. I mean...the list goes on and on and on. I can honestly say that my life with Jesus has been nothing less than joyful, peaceful, and worth living. The life I lived before...useless, empty and depressing. So, why would I not choose to live sold out for Him? Why would I not choose to live simply, and in holiness?

I fall short almost every day and I'm sick of myself. Yet, I know that the Lord is faithful. He knows I am but dust. He has shown me, that a life away from the cultural norms is a life of joy. Sure, it's a life of barely anything aside from Him...but who cares? I love it. I have learned that in whatever state I'm in, I am to be content and REJOICING with joy inexpressible. I believe He is also preparing me for what is to come...because at Bible College, there are no TV's, barely any music, and not a lot of internet ;) So I am soooo thankful and blessed He has taken these few months to prepare me mentally and spiritually. What an awesome, powerful God I serve.

So, as He has been teaching me to live a life of simplicity, I can honestly say it's a life worth living. Just this past Sunday my mom spoke at our annual Christmas Dessert at church. The theme was "Glory to God in the Highest" and it was EVERYTHING I needed to hear, and everything the Lord had been teaching me in this season of my life! She spoke on living simply, saying 'goodbye' to all the unnecessary distractions this world has to offer. She spoke on living in holiness and how the Lord is to be our cornerstone, our rock and our focus in this life. At the end of her message, my mom shared a video by Anne Graham Lotz. Daugher of Billy Graham who is a famous evangelical speaker across the world, she is probably one of the most impacting speakers of her time.

What a precious virtuous woman of God she is. This video made me cry. It made me think of the prodigal, the lost, the searching, the broken, the helpless. It made me think of who I used to be apart from Christ. It made me realize the gratitude and thankfulness I need to portray to my wonderful Savior for all He has done for me.

No matter where you are in life, who you are, what you've been through or where you plan on going...God is real, powerful, sovereign, and He's pursuing you, I just know it. To repent of your sin and believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ...now that is a life worth living. Please, watch this. And truly let it sink into your heart. I know the Lord has something for you through this.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

wait.


I have found that in my own sin and ignorance I have been trying to alter the plans God has for me. I have tried to rush them, change them, bargain with Him about them. As I think upon all that the Lord has already done for me, why in the world would I want to change anything else He has in store? Everything He's done so far has been extremely perfect in His will and timing.

The distractions of this life are so huge. They can tear at you until you cave into the sins you once used to be involved in. I have come back to a place of knowing that simplicity of just Jesus is the purest, holiest, most precious form of living. I obviously own a computer, a cell phone, a television, movies, music, ect ect ect. Those things are wonderful until they suck the time, energy and life out of you and cause you to have nothing left for the Lord. Sad life, isn't it?

I have found that I, too, have become to obsessed with the cultures of the world. Nothing morally wrong or debased, just things that draw me away from the Lord. Once that happens, you can find yourself unsatisfied, discontent, wondering how your life could be different. Isn't satan so lame?

He knows our weaknesses, the things that can draw us away from God. So he tries to use them so that we would stumble and fall. God is much more victorious, but we have to be willing to surrender and sacrifice all these things onto His lap and say 'Ok, Lord..no more. YOU are in control.'

You'd think by the millionth time of these things happening we would learn. But we don't. I wonder why that is. I'm sure the Lord weeps for His children quite often. I'm sure He grieves over the fact that our sin often times becomes more powerful than our desire to be holy. I, too, have been at fault for this.

The desire and passions of this life (should be) that our aim would be to walk in holiness, purity and righteousness. Our aim should be to seek the things which are above, where Christ is and not things of the earth. Nothing in this world/life can possibly satisfy like Jesus. Who is like Him? No one.

So, as I came across my aggravation, dissatisfaction, discontentment, annoyances, and the list goes on....I have come to find that it's my problem because I've let my own pride, selfishness and sin get into the way of what the Lord truly wants to do. Whether it be the plans for now or for the future. It is His command that we surrender it ALL unto Him. It is His command that as children of God we are to let go and let GOD do the work.

We try to rush the plans? They end up disastrously. We try to change the plans and we end up in brokenness. We try to go about them our own way and we end up in sin.

I want to share a poem with you that truly pierced my heart. Praying that you, too, will WAIT upon the Lord for every single thing in your life. Big or small, it's nothing He doesn't want to lead and direct. Trust Him.



I said, "Let me walk in the field";
God said, "No, walk in the town";

I said, "There are no flowers there";

He said, "No flowers, but a crown."



I said, "But the sky is black,

There is nothing but noise and din";
But He wept as He sent me back,
"There is more,"
He said, "there is sin."



I said, "But the air is thick,
And smog is veiling the sun";
He answered, "Yet souls are sick,

And your work is yet undone."



I said, "I will miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say";

He answered me,
"Choose tonight,
If I am to miss you, or they."


I pleaded for time to be given;
He said, "Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem hard in Heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide."


I cast one look at the field,
Then set my face to the town;

He said, "My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?"



Then into His hand went mine,
And into my heart came He;

And I walk in light Divine,

The path I had feared to see.



- George McDonald -

Saturday, December 4, 2010

come away.


One of the sweetest things we can do as believers is come away to a deserted place and worship Jesus. It's when we spend quality time with Him, praising Him, adoring Him, thanking Him for all He has done in our lives. The Lord has truly shown me that prayer and a precious quiet time with Him every single day is what is most delighted in His sight.

I fall so short at this. Especially with all the distractions in this life, as I have had family staying with us for quite a while...it's easy to wake up in the morning and in your mind think of the list of ridiculous amounts of things you have to do that day..then your thoughts and desire to spend time with the Lord vanish. What happened? The Lord delights in YOU. He so desires that you come away and praise Him.

The Bible says that the effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. How often do we honestly pray? And I'm not saying laying down in bed thanking Him for your day, which is fine...but how often do we set aside time to truly pray? More than just 5 minutes?

As the Lord had been pressing this issue upon my heart lately, He gave me Psalm 84:5, "Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage."

In the dictionary, the word pilgrimage means: "A journey, a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion."

Wow. Just think about that. The Lord loves when our hearts are set on devoting our time unto Him. We are called every single day to be pursuing pilgrimage. We are called to come away to a secret and precious place and devote our all unto Him... daily!

Boy...do I fall short of this sometimes. It should be our hearts cry...our hearts desire that we WANT to come away and spend time with Him. My hearts prayer is that I don't just 'want' to pray, but I would need to pray in order to survive before my day continues. Prayer is such an important part of our Christian lives. As we continue in our relationships with the Lord, it's how we communicate, how we hear from Him, it's how mountains can be moved. Prayer is a POWERFUL thing. No wonder people go around saying, 'my prayers are never answered'.

Maybe it's because you don't spend enough time thanking the Lord for His goodness, and devoting yourself to a prayer life with Him. This has been a rude awakening to me too.

I've gone over this before, but it's such a burden upon my heart for me and for everyone else who is walking with the Lord. We are commanded to come away to a deserted place each and every day, to spend time with our Savior. He is so worthy and deserving. Our time that we have been given is not so that we can waste it on idle things, on things of the world...but our time is to be spent worshiping the Lord, glorifying Him and furthering His kingdom. With these, He shall be satisfied.

How often do you come away and spend time with Him? When was the last time you just stopped everything and communicated with Him in a precious way? It isn't just what we should want or need, it's what He commands of us.

"One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple." Psalm 27:4