I give all myself.

The LORD has been so beautiful and gracious in teaching me what it means to fully surrender to Him. I'm not just talking about giving up a meal a week to fast, or to lay down my heart so He can do whatever He pleases with it, even though that is true. I'm talking about full on, ignition of surrender to Him. Not just my heart, but my everything. My thoughts, my will, my desires, my loves, my passions, my fears...anything, everything, and it all unto Him.

I have had the blessing of reading "Surrender" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and she is so anointed by God. She shares some of her life experiences and what the LORD has shown her to surrender in her own life. These past few months, well..maybe several months, I have been learning what it truly means to surrender. It hasn't been easy either, let me tell you. Surrendering all you are and have to the LORD initially may be hard on you but let me tell you...it eventually yields the fruit and peacefulness He promises. All that you need is found in Him. As Americans, we think we need possessions, wealth, beauty, popularity. These are but idols in our lives. Yet, God has called us to surrender so much more unto Him, to allow Him to do the work in our hearts He needs to do to fulfill our calling and ministry for His kingdom.

I wish I could go on for about 80 pages on what it truly means to surrender you all to the LORD but I can't. Let me just tell you these few things. In my own life, this means surrendering my fear of loneliness, my desire for a husband and children, and my heart for wanting to control things in my life. I began to take control of my future...going to ISU, pursuing education, not really obeying the voice of the LORD when He wanted me in full time ministry. Full surrender means I am giving up all I ever hoped for, dreamed, loved, desired... all to stay focused and remain in furthering the Kingdom of GOD. And, if by His precious will and beautiful power, He decides to bless me with those things, then fine. Blessed be His name. If NOT, then blessed be His name.

Even though God intended for these things to be blessings (marriage, a blessed future) we should not aim that our hearts be set on them. Our AIM, our hearts should be set on pilgrimage, they should be set on forsaking all we are and have, only to glorify our King in heaven. If that means selling all your possessions so be it. If that means remaining single for the rest of your life so be it. If that means moving to a country to share the gospel with nonbelievers so be it. Whatever I have to do to rid myself of any stains, any uncleanness, so that I could pursue holiness and purity in my heart, soul, and mind... then so be it.

My life on this earth is but a moment, a vapor, one that passes by. My only goal and calling is to live out the life Jesus has placed on me..to love those, pray for those, and spread the good news to those who are thirsty. I am nothing special and I am no one spectacular. I am me...by the grace of God, I am me. The only way I'm standing, breathing, living in joy and love is because of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, how can I not surrender everything unto Him? What could I possibly lose that is special to me, that means more than eternal life? Nothing. There is nothing apart from Christ that satisfies. HE is the ultimate satisfaction.

So I ask, what could you possibly have to lose by surrendering your life? No it won't be happy and awesome at first, more than likely it will be scary and uncertain...but trusting in God's unfailing love and perfect plan for your life is way more than you can ever ask for or hope. He does exceedingly abundantly all that I could have ever dreamed of. May my life be a living sacrifice unto Him...my actions, my words, my thoughts, my motives...all that I am.

I am not here in this world to make a mark, only to be known as a slave of Jesus. Not JUST a servant, not one who volunteers her time, a slave of Jesus. Every month, of every year, in every hour and every minute. I am His.

There is no greater calling. No greater blessing.