ill follow You.

Yesterday, the craziest thing happened to me. The LORD had been putting people on my heart to pray for and write to, and He was really directing me. My earnest prayer lately has been that He would give me a pure, servant heart towards others. I struggle with being selfish. As I was heading to get lunch at Subway, I noticed a girl walking in the street which I thought was strange because she was by herself. I went into Subway and got my food then was paying when she walked in, all alone. She put her stuff down and as I turned away the LORD was saying, "Go...eat with her. Share with her the good news." Of course in my own selfishness and flesh I was like, "Really God? I don't know...she may be meeting someone here, or she may not want to deal with me." So I smiled at her and left. Driving home on the car something came over me. I began crying, hard. I was heartbroken that I had left her all by herself, but more than that, I was heartbroken that I disobeyed the voice of the LORD. Trouble with me is, I have pride...and that pride whispers to me and says "People will think you're a freak... don't be courageous or bold about Jesus." What lies! Dumb satan. How dare he!!!! My heart breaks because of this. Please pray that the LORD would give me the grace and STRENGTH, courage and boldness next time, to never let an opportunity like that pass.

Ever since yesterday, my heart has earnestly been broken over that sweet girl. I have no idea who she was, but all I can pray is that she would KNOW that Jesus loves her, somehow, someway. I pray that because I didn't listen, God would send someone obedient to what needs to be done in her life.

I realized, that I have ONE life to live. It's now that we are to stand up and be courageous for the cross of Christ. We are given opportunities by the LORD to shine and be a light in this dark world. I don't believe the LORD would give us situations that were impossible. I'm sure that girl would have said, "Why, sure you can eat with me..." or else, why would He have poked me to? No, I don't have the boldness or courage to go up to random people and shine the light of Christ, but I am earnestly and zealously praying that He would give me the strength to do so. He has called me to something so insanely unique.... what that is, I'm not sure, yet if I am going to be in full time ministry I am going to need to step out of my comfort zone. We all do.

I recently got my hands on a song by Leeland and Brandon Heath that truly ministered to me at a time when the LORD was really really pressing upon my heart to jump into ministry and leave all that I had accomplished behind. It's called "Follow You". A few lines that truly prick at my heart are as followed... I pray that you too would be encouraged as He has used it to encourage me. Where is the LORD calling you to go? Don't disobey... you have one life to live...why should we fret or worry about spreading the good news? You don't need to go to China or Russia or Israel... there is much needed here in the United States. Follow Him.

"On my knees You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
How could I not give it away so freely?
I'll follow You into the homes of the broken
I'll follow You into the world
I'll meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
I'll follow You into the world..."

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." - Matthew 10:39